The Misunderstood Side of Spirituality
Not all that glows is light—true spirituality is often quiet, raw, and real.
What Most People Think Spirituality Is?
When you hear the word spirituality, what do you feel?
Some imagine a monk in silence, high up in the Himalayas. Others picture incense smoke curling through the air, someone meditating cross-legged, or people wearing beads, crystals, and speaking about “high vibrations.”
For a long time, I was also confused. I thought spirituality was something outside of me something mystical and far away that only the “chosen” could access. It seemed like a secret club I didn’t belong to. But slowly, as life threw me into both chaos and stillness, I discovered that spirituality isn’t always loud or visible. Sometimes, it’s as quiet as a breath, as real as pain, and as simple as love.
Spirituality is deeply human.
It’s not about escaping life but embracing it fully. It’s about learning to sit with both your joy and your sadness, your light and your shadow, and understanding that everything has something to teach you. It’s about connection not just with something higher, but with yourself and the world around you.
In this blog, I’d like to explore the often misunderstood side of spirituality. I’ll share thoughts and personal reflections that have shaped how I see this path. If you’ve ever felt like you didn’t “fit” into the spiritual world, this is for you.
The Misunderstood Side of Spirituality
1. Spirituality Is Not Just About Religion
One of the biggest misconceptions I’ve encountered is that spirituality and religion are the same. They’re not.
Religion often provides structure rituals, traditions, and community. It gives people a shared language and way to connect with the divine. But spirituality is something even more personal. It’s your inner dialogue with life. It’s how you feel in moments of silence or awe watching a sunset, holding a baby, or sitting by the sea.
You don’t need to belong to a religion to be spiritual. You just need to be willing to look within.
I’ve met people who never followed any formal belief system, yet they live with deep awareness and compassion. They don’t preach, but they embody peace. That’s the kind of quiet spirituality that often goes unnoticed—but it’s powerful.
2. It’s Not About Always Being “Positive”
“Just stay positive.”
How many times have we heard that in hard moments? While positive thinking has its place, true spirituality doesn’t avoid discomfort. It embraces it.
Spirituality isn’t about denying sadness, fear, or anger. It’s about learning to sit with those feelings and listen. Every emotion, even the difficult ones, carries a message. Growth comes when we stop running and start feeling.
I remember breaking down during a time of personal loss. A friend said, “You’re supposed to be spiritual. You should be calm.” But in that moment, crying on my kitchen floor, I realized that spirituality isn’t about having it together it’s about being real. That was one of the most spiritual moments of my life.
3. You Don’t Need Fancy Tools to Be Spiritual
Crystals, incense, mantras, moon rituals these can be beautiful aids. But they are not the essence of spirituality. They are expressions, not requirements.
You don’t need anything external to connect with the sacred. The divine lives in your breath, your thoughts, your actions. You can be spiritual washing the dishes if you do it with presence.
I once met an old woman who told me, “I talk to God while hanging laundry. That’s my meditation.” Her wrinkles held more wisdom than any book I had read.
Spirituality is about how you live, not what you buy or wear.
4. Spirituality Is Not an Escape from Life
There’s a belief that spiritual people are always calm and disconnected from daily worries that they float above worldly concerns.
But in truth, real spirituality makes you more grounded, not less. It helps you show up more fully for your family, your work, your responsibilities, and your emotions. It gives you strength to face the messiness of life, not avoid it.
Some of my deepest spiritual insights came not from silence, but from the chaos of heartbreak, from conflict, from making mistakes and learning the hard way. That’s where real transformation begins.
5. Not Everyone on a Spiritual Path Is “Wise”
This one can be hard to admit, but it’s important: not everyone who calls themselves spiritual is genuinely so.
Spiritual language can be used to manipulate, to hide ego, or to create false superiority. It’s easy to talk about love and light, but much harder to live it especially when no one’s watching.
I’ve been misled before by people who used spiritual words but acted out of fear, control, or pride. It taught me that true spirituality isn’t loud. It’s humble. If someone’s wisdom doesn’t come with kindness and integrity, it’s time to walk away.
6. Spirituality Can Be Lonely Sometimes
No one tells you this, but spiritual awakening can feel like losing everything familiar. You start to see life differently. Your values shift. What once made sense no longer fits.
Sometimes, people around you won’t understand. They may think you’ve changed (you have), or that you’re being “too sensitive” or “too deep.”
I’ve had phases where I felt like I was on a completely different frequency than my friends. But over time, new connections formed people who truly saw me. If you’re feeling that loneliness now, trust that your tribe will find you.
7. It’s Not About “Fixing” Yourself
Many of us come to spirituality because we feel broken. We want to heal, improve, or be more “worthy.” But here’s the beautiful truth:
You don’t need to become someone else—you need to remember who you are.
Spirituality isn’t self-improvement. It’s self-remembrance.
When I stopped trying to be “more spiritual” and just allowed myself to feel, rest, and be—I began to notice that I already had everything I needed inside me. That’s when the real healing began.
8. Spirituality Looks Different for Everyone
There’s no universal recipe for being spiritual. What brings one person peace may not work for another—and that’s okay.
For some, it’s chanting. For others, it’s walking barefoot on the grass. It could be journaling, singing, cooking, or simply sitting quietly with yourself.
A friend of mine connects through dancing under the stars. Another finds meaning in silence. I find mine when I’m writing, or just looking at the sky. There is no “right” way. Only your way.
Conclusion
So here we are. After peeling back the myths and expectations, what remains?
The heart of spirituality is not perfection. Not performance. Not pretending.
It’s presence.
It’s truth.
It’s love.
It’s waking up in the morning and choosing to live with awareness. It’s forgiving yourself when you fall. It’s choosing compassion over judgment, and honesty over image.
Whether you’re just beginning or you’ve been walking this path for years, know this:
You don’t have to follow anyone else’s map. You already carry your own compass inside you.
Let go of what spirituality is “supposed” to look like. And instead, begin where you are—with your breath, your story, your questions, and your courage.
Because spirituality isn’t about becoming someone else.
It’s about coming home to yourself.
FAQs
Q1: Can I be spiritual without following a religion?
Absolutely. Spirituality is a personal journey. It doesn’t require formal beliefs—just an open heart and a willingness to look inward.
Q2: Is it okay to feel sad or angry on a spiritual path?
Yes. Emotions are part of being human. True spirituality embraces all feelings and learns from them.
Q3: Do I need crystals or rituals to be spiritual?
No. Those are tools, not essentials. Your intention, awareness, and presence matter more than any object.
Q4: Why does spiritual growth feel lonely?
Because you’re changing. And sometimes that means letting go of relationships that no longer align. But new, deeper connections will come.
Q5: How can I tell if someone is genuinely spiritual?
Look at how they live not just what they say. True spirituality shows in how people treat others, especially when it’s difficult.